on the island of roads

So, I am now two weeks into this adventure of Navy life. It’s a bit different than I had thought it was going to be. It became really hard; I had this picture in my mind of it being super easy. But alas, it was actually quite difficult for the first two weeks. The breaks have been taken off quite a bit now.

It has become very hard for a number of reasons, part of the issue is simply that I am currently locked up with a bunch of very selfish people. They are very privileged and have not known the suffering of being a grunt worker bee.

It makes me sick to be here. I don’t like it. I have forgotten how oppressive the atmosphere is at training commands. Training bases are just ugly. There is so much pain and hurt being inflicted on people.

I am not even in the “bad” class. There is a whole separate group of classes that are for “line officers” I am not, I am just a guy with a degree and so therefore get to look like an officer, but in all the real ways, I am still just me. The people that go through OCS are brutalized. They are broken down in so many different ways. It breaks my heart to see the crap that they have to go through. But it makes me so angry that my f’d up class that complains about going outside and getting dirty is somehow privileged and able to avoid most of the really ugly things that happen to the poor schmucks over in the OCS class.

I don’t want to be here now. I want to leave.