Sunday, October 04, 2009

Just another thought.

A sniff of freedom. Not a big gulp, but a sniff non the less. When I was in basic training back in the late 90s, I remember getting a day of base liberty, and being able to go to the rec center where they had a big TV and games and what not. I sat and watched 24 hours of a Christmas Story, not all 24 hours, but I did watch it back to back to back. I ate a whole pizza all to myself and just sat and watched. It was AWESOME!

I went to the O-club last night with my crew, it was a good time to just get out of the building. I am itching with a great desire to just leave here. I am ready to see something else in this world. I dont even really want to leave base, I just want this time to be done.

Its getting very hard now to remember what happened during the first two weeks of training. Its a bit fuzzy now. I remember thinking that it would never end, I remember thinking that it was quite the mistake to come out here. I remember thinking that I could just freak out and DOR (Drop on Request) in the pool and just pretend to freak and say that I cant be here anymore. I guess all of my big talk about really wanting to be here to "serve" is just that, talk. When it comes down to the push and shove, and I dislike being forced into the system, I want to run.

Its not even that hard, I just dont like it. Perhaps my brain/personality has changed over the last few years. Perhaps.



Jenny said...

I am finally back to the blog scene and therefore reading yours again! Sounds like it's been hard to squeeze back into the system again. :( Will it be like this for the next two years or does it change and get better?
I'm going to be in Oregon for Christmas and therefore I was thinking about you. I'm bummed that we can't catch up over a cup (or three) of coffee, but hope that you will have a good Thanksgiving nonetheless. Take care, my friend.