Tuesday, January 04, 2005

where is the passion gone?

I know that you have the video about the trees from Nooma. I love that film and the joys and problems that it brings up. I have been thinking a lot about life in general lately. I have been asking people the question “what is one thing that you want to do before you die?” I love the responses that I get, but I love thinking about my response more. So the first time I asked the question, I already had an answer in my mind, I asked my girlfriend Gina the above question, and her response was “to get married and have kids”. I guess that I was a little disappointed in her response, but also in my pre-manufactured response. My response was “to fly an airplane, go skydiving, and visit another country off this rock” This is truly only one thing because I could fly my plane to another continent, skydive out and so there fore it would be only one thing. I was absolutely floored by the difference in our desires. How could two people thinking of the same question come up with two totally different responses?

Gina and I had to come to the conclusion that our answers typify the male and female mind set, and how different God made the sexes. I love how in Wild At Heart, John E. talks about how the sexes show different things about God’s heart. The male heart is different than the woman’s, but both reflect different aspects of God as a whole. To disregard one or the other is to disregard part of Gods heart. So in a roundabout way I am thinking more and more about what is happening in my life, and what I find the most important things. If my only goal in life were to go skydiving, than that is a shallow life. I have never been one who has been fascinated by the thought of marriage, kids, and a white picket fence. To tell the truth, it was just not that important to me, I knew that I had other things to think about and things to do in the here and now, so I found it odd when people started to become obsessed with the idea of marriage and kids I just figured I would go the way of the monk, and get a cool robe and sandals, have a stylish haircut and live out of the back of Mac Cov. Not that my ideas on this subject have changed in anyway, it is just that I find it an honorable thing for people to have a family and truly die to the self every day for the sake of the children and spouse. Especially as men, we are called to love our wives as Christ loved the church, he died, we are called to make that daily choice to die in no small way for the sake of the fam.

Last week, you asked me what I am passionate about, where my “gifts” are, what makes me come alive, we did not get a chance to finish that talk, so I thought I would give you a little bit of what I have been thinking about. To tell you the truth, I struggle with this; I do not have one thing that I do that I am alive in. I can do lots of activities, or things that I love and get passionate about, but that is not the same as a gift or where my true desire is. I love to do things outside, I love snowboarding, rock climbing, backpacking, hiking, fishing, motor cross, enduro-motorcycleing, crew, biking, running, ect. pretty much anything that I can get active and competitive in. I told you that I feel like I have a vast well of determination that has served me very well in my life so far. In a way, all the above activities tap into that in a little way. I would not be a good member of the crew team if I gave up when I wanted to. I would not be a good rock climber if I stopped when it started to get hard. The truth is that the activity is never the core of the activity, the people that I am with are. I love working with other people, I love taking new people out to go climbing, and showing them moves and how to conquer hard things. I love the look on peoples faces when they think they are done and can not go any more, I can talk them into trying a little more, and seeing them make it to the top of the rock wall. I succeeded in a small way through them. I conquered the wall through them.

I get great joy out of helping other people, in whatever way I can. For example this Turkey Day, I was at Gina’s mothers house, they cooked a huge meal, with two turkey’s, and a ham. Afterwards the dishes were stacked so thick on the counters that there was no space left to set anything down. So I started to do the dishes, Gina came over and helped so the two of us washed a LOT of dishes, I loved it I thought it was fun just to help out. It made such a huge impact on Gina’s mom because the “man’s role” is not normally to do the dishes. It was a huge thing for her to see some guy role his sleeves up and step into a nasty job, and it made it so much easier on her; it was a chore yes, but no skin off my back to do it.

So where is my “calling” I feel like teaching, I am going to finish out the Batchers degree here at OSU, than on to the masters of teaching so that I can enlighten the youth of America as to the wonders of chemistry and biology. Granted this is a very fluid and dynamic choice and is about a solid as Jello, subject to change without notice, but it is the closest thing that I can think of to match up with where my heart is. The chance to bring people alive, to help them overcome something that they do not think they can do. To inspire, impassion and encourage. Not to mention I want to have a cool Friday show, where I can blow something up just for the sake of blowing it up. I even have a cool name, “BIG BANG FRIDAY” I think kids would come just to see it. It would be great. Well, I need to go back to studying the bio-chem, but I should see you tomorrow.

“Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.” Dr. Seuss